Hyperbole and a Half !

“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn’t know how potent that part might be-that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”

Bella Swan, Twilight

I sleep restlessly, wondering if my Edward will look brown because of all the tan or will I find him on my trip through Aarey colony perched on a tree, waiting for me. 10 years later, still no Edward, no Emran, no Eshan, and I voluntarily donate my blood. I cannot tell you how much I wish I was a vampire. I would choose the superpower of reading people’s minds. So that I know, I know, I know, I know. What they think of me. What they think of my outfit. What they think of the extra flourish of the wing on my eyelid. What they think of me thinking of what their opinions are. And if I don’t like them, I can suck the life through their living souls, but no, it is kinda gross. 

I swerve back to reality as my therapist calls out my name, snapping me out of my reverie. He is an old man, about in his mid-fifties, which is I think the reason why he is so patient with me, I always thought older people are better anyway. I look at my nails, well remnants of nails after marathons of chewing them off in an anxious state. He stares at me, telling me ways of coping with anxiety at my workplace, I keep pretending to listen but he knows that I am not. I smirk as I look at today’s date on the calendar behind him, he asks, “Something wrong with the calendar?” I said, “10^th October, Mental Health Awareness Day as told to me by ze Twitterati.” He nods, and asks me if that is why I didn’t go to work today. I didn’t want to tell him but something about the wizened face and prodding expression made me blurt, “I had a small scuffle with my co-workers, they were being stupid. Plus it’s a work-at-home not a holiday.” “Was it about a ‘FARRT’?”, he inquired. No, FARRT is not what you think it is, FARRT is Fashion And Retail Related Theory, which we called the topics which he didn’t understand because they were too new for him. He asked me to dissect it for him and tell him which part affected me so much. I relieved the experience of accusations and rebuttals, and he simply asked, did you know everything about the FARRT? To which I defended by saying that they said my opinion was wrong. He asked me again, if the FARRT concerned me in some way, I retorted by saying I was saving someone else from those evil witches. He asked if the witches were directly talking to me, I had to tell him that they were talking in the cubicle next to mine.

               It was 03:45 pm, which meant 15 minutes of serious advice, which was this,

1. Feeling like you’re drowning with overwhelming emotions can really affect your daily routines. Instead of supressing it, deal with it head on and accept that something is bothering you. That way you remain true to yourself if not to others.

2. Not concerning yourself with other’s opinions about you surely sounds easier than it actually is, but give it a shot. Take small steps towards achieving it and you’ll automatically see a difference in your mood.

3. Have a self-care arsenal. Everyone has certain things and coping mechanisms that relieve them of their stress and anxiety – watching a show, taking a bath, taking a walk, taking a nap, putting on sweatpants with three different holes in it, whatever.

4. The biggest enemy to your mental health, is your own thoughts and opinions. Focusing on negative thoughts and insecurities start making you believe in all those self-assumptions and doubts. Negate it by maintaining a gratitude diary and list down your blessing and things you appreciate in your life. I admit it sounds boring but really helps you snap out of your pessimism.

It was time to leave because there were more damsels in distress he had to save, my head was buzzing with the session’s flashbacks. I entered the elevator with a fellow patient and there was already a bloke inside. He guffaws at the patient boy, points at his jersey and says, “Why would anyone support Tottenham, Chelsea is the team real fans would support.” I thought I would see a live telecast of another verbal match but surprisingly he kept mum. And as he got out of the lift, he shot a wink at me with a playful smile. I read his name on the back of his jersey, 007, JACOB, OH. MY. GOD. Does it mean that I was destined for a werewolf after all?!! WAS I? WAS I? Well I had to come back to therapy so only one way to find out!

“Mental health awareness is not just about speaking up, but taking the necessary actions to improve it. Because in the end, we ourselves either become our worst enemy, or our best friend.”

*******

We shall be sharing one recipe every week, watch out this space for the Master Chef in you!

FRIENDSHIP SOUP RECIPE

• Take 2 carrots of kindness
• Add 3 pints of moist honesty and trust to it
• Simmer till spicy fun is released
• Put some goofiness for crunch
• A pinch of argument
• Swirl of respect thrice for richness
• Garnish it with coolness

Continue to do so till your friendship has seen gazillion years together! B)

BONUS!!
Adventures of Sugar da Dawg and Catrina the Kitty

Toodles!